Mudder's Day

That is how I imagine Claire might say "Mother's Day" next year or so. Ah, how cute it will be, I imagine, to hear her form words incorrectly! I had a few great high school English teachers (see item # 108 of "Stuff White People Like") and although I don't know how they feel about toddlers and baby talk (Mrs. Gronberg, if you are reading this, you'll have to chime in!) I have always planned to speak like an adult to my growing children. By the time she will talk she will be more toddler than baby anyway, right? My plan is, you know, to give her a head start in life and not confuse her into speaking like a baby if she is already a toddler.

So far, this plan has failed miserably. Claire doesn't finish her food, she is "all done," for example. I almost always say "All Done!" after she eats her last pea or blueberry, and the minute those words fly out of my mouth I realize that I should have said "Finished!".... but it was too late! I remember about 10% of the time; exposure to proper grammar is minimal at best. Luckily, Claire loves books- she eats them up! Literally! Biting off soggy hunks of thick cardboard to chew and very often swallow. I have read words off paper from a magazine in her poop. Really. Also, occasionally Joseph or I will point at a tiger or goose in her little books and say "lion" or "duck." We realize the mistake a few minutes too late, after one of us points it out to the other. "Hey genius- you realize that is actually a tiger, right? HA! HA! HA!" Despite my various efforts, this kiddo may be getting...who am I kidding- IS getting a few mixed signals as far as grammar, reading, and animal identification goes! So she will probably have more baby talk than I originally planned.

Here is a non- exhaustive Claire-English language translator:
Ma Ma - Mama
Da Da - Dada
Hi - Hi! (yes, I know, she is a genius!)
ba ba - bird. Also means Bye Bye on a rare occasion.
dah dah- dog
dat - that
bob bob- just something she says when she's looking around, and occasionally- if I time asking the question just right- the name of our neighbor, Bob!
tur dle - I want to say this is how she says turtle, but she just says this all the time whether there is a turtle present or not.

As you are reading this post titled "Mudder's Day" with content that has nothing to do with Mother's day, you may be thinking that I have wandered away from the topic of this post. Ah HA! Maybe I did a little! But here is where I bring it back--> I am learning that no matter how many mistakes I make, as long as love is motivating me then Claire will be just fine. It is probably developmentally necessary for her to talk baby talk as she is figuring out this whole world of language, and I trust that she will figure it out eventually! The point is I want to provide her with the best experiences and opportunities (and literacy potential!) and even though I often make mistakes I want her to know she is loved. My own mom taught me this- she provided me her best as far as learning experiences and good opportunities (not to mention excellent literacy!) and although she, like any other person (including myself), has made mistakes, I have always known that I am deeply loved. Knowing that is what has affected my life more than all the opportunities and educational experiences combined, and her love didn't just end with my childhood. She has been there for me through many life changes, both wonderful and difficult, interesting, and boring. She shows her love many ways, but the most obvious is through her actions.

Just today, she came over to my house while Claire was napping so I could go to a baby shower (Congrats again Tri & Ginny! So excited for when your little bundle of joy will show his or her face!) and when I came home she had organized Claire's little play area and mopped my kitchen floor! It was such an unexpected blessing and it made me realize how much I have in common with my mom. Not that I mop the floor when I babysit (don't hire me yet!)- but that I want to do things that make Claire happy, to bless her life. And despite being exhausted and busy and sometimes even hungry or thirsty, however imperfectly I implement my actions, I know they are motivated by love for this tiny person who clings to me the most out of everyone else in the world. This responsibility can feel overwhelming at times, but I know that I am not doing this alone. My mom felt that way before I was even conscious of my self, and I trust other moms out there feel similarly. Love moves me, us, forward. My practice, and I really mean practice in the literal sense of the word- conscious and purposeful repetition with the intent to master a skill- is to be aware of the moment and allow love to motivate my actions within that moment: my choices, habits, diaper changes, cleaning, laundry, words, tickles, and snuggles. Part of this is giving myself room to be less than my perception of what a perfect mother is/does, and allowing grace to seep in the cracks of my day, till it gently infuses my day instead of being bulldozed by my agenda for the day (which often happens!).

So on this Mother's day, realizing how many details I don't remember of what my own mother did for me in my baby-toddler years, and realizing that grown- up Claire will have no clue either, I salute motherhood and all who toil under it's often thankless banner. This is a hard job, but motivated by love we cannot fail. Thank you so much to my own mom, Penny Pederson, for all the love you have and still so willingly shower on me, and for showing me how to do the same for Claire. I would also like to mention that I love sharing motherhood with my sister Krista, who is far more tolerant than I when it comes to crying babies, and who inspires me with her gentle and generous love for her son Emmanuel.

PS- I can't remember exactly when, but sometime in the past few years me and my sisters (I have one other sister- Sophia- the youngest of us three girls) discussed my mother's name- Penny wasn't refined enough for my mother; she should have been named Penelope, with Penny as just a nickname.
PSS- Speaking of parent names, I have this memory floating around in my head from when I was younger, of my dad, Marve, saying "Without your mother, I would be Penniless!" and then my mom replying "Without your father, I would be Marvelous!"
PSSS- If you are in Tulsa and you want a really good margarita on the rocks, I recommend Cafe Ole on Brookside. I celebrated 5 de Mayo with my dear friend Andrea and although it might have been the great company and the fact that I had not had a margarita for over a year, I still think it was the best margarita I have ever had! It's hard to beat warm spring evenings on a patio with a good friend who laughs at your jokes!
PSSSS- on May 4th, Joseph kept saying "May the 4th be with you" and in my mind I heard "May the forth be with you" and it did not make any sense to me so I subconsciously kept ignoring him when he said that until probably the 5th or 6th time when I finally asked what the heck he was talking about! And then I felt silly because it was May the 4th and evidently everybody in the world (or at least facebook) says that phrase. Somehow I missed it.
PSSSSS- This is getting ridiculous, but I feel compelled to write a "goodbye" sentence. May the tenth be with you, and good night! :)